Hamburg 5-21-8

So where did I leave off? It's funny how this little blog is turning out to be more of a personal diary than anything else. I don't leave much out it seems. a public personal diary! its sort of surprising how indifferent I am about it though, considering the vastness of the internet. I'm not sayin I'm an angel or whatevah but there are a lot of fucked up people out there (i know from personal experience) trust. Perfect example being last week when I ran into a pack of young turkish thugs on my way home from the club. I was just minding my own buisness stumbling home, when all of the sudden one of them seriously body checked me and called me a faggot in turkish. I couldn't believe it because usually Berlin feels really safe to me. Now it is possible that after they did that, I might have drunkenly uttered in turkish, a rather vile curse word directed at their mother. That shocked them. But they were even more shocked, I think, at the ferocity with which I fought back when four of them jumped me ten seconds later. Yeah I got beat down by a gang of turkish youths and um, it was actually kinda hot. Yeah you heard me! combat is like a sort of primal, adrenaline inducing, fight or flight situation to be in. and oddly I confuse that with arousal, haha. I'll tell you one thing though, I didn't look so hot the next morning covered in scrapes and bruises. I swear sometimes I think the world is trying to kill me, or perhaps me trying to kill my world. Thing is, it wasn't just the alcohol. Even if I were sober and someone made a homophobic comment like that, I would probably say something. It's because I simply can't stand homophobia, it infuriates me becaiuse it's just so fucking ignorant. Really now people, we're living in the twenty first century not the dark ages.

Right now I'm actually in the process of planning a trip to Moscow at the end of the month. I was there alone as a backpacker eight years ago and I'm planning to return to protest the decision of the mayor of Moscow to ban the cities gay pride celebration calling it "satanic". I saw that violent insanity on the BBC last year and vowed to go in 2008. I read that three or four prominent european mayors are going this year as well. I realize that it's not a decision met without danger and I was actually racking my brain trying to think of who I could get to come with me and be my body guard. Seriously, Russia is shady. For some reason though that hint of danger allures me. It excites me. Maybe its the same feeling that people who work as war correspondents seek. I'm only going for two weeks and I already found a charming little pension in the center of Moscow renting rooms for 20$ a night. Yeah dollars, not Euros, what is it like half now? give it a few months. This little excerpt from the internet listing had me sold immediately.

"Tsentralnaya Hotel - Singles for $20, doubles for $35. Only cash is accepted. There are common showers and toilettes. The rooms are not very nice, but with a big effort you can call them cozy. Great location in downtown Moscow, on the main street Tverskaya, and last century old building provided with an opportunity to make something special. They succeeded — a den full of characters that look like a mix of provincials, prostitutes and shifty fellows.?The receptionists are soviet-style women with blond hair and a "Piss off, I'm tired" attitude. But the guard is very helpful in a way: if ask him for directions, he may propose some escort "entertainment"."

I know, I know, I'm troubled... It's not just about the protest either. Moscow is a fascinating and huge city (ten million people, so I figure about a million queers;) There has to be some cool little parties in a city of that size, cmon. Either way it's a city that cannot be ignored and if I'm to go again, now would be the time. It wouldn't shock me if travel there were restricted at some point in the future. Bush certainly Isn't the worlds only tyrant and I've heard whispers of conflict.

I've actually been going out to parties quite a bit lately here in Berlin and it's kind of weird living in a city again that has a scene that I sort of feel apart of now. I guess it's just odd going out and running into people that I know. I suppose I feel naked in a scene that is no longer as anonymous. I ran into this artist kid Dallas the other night at a party in Prenzlauer Berg. I had met him before one night at Search & Destroy with Travis and Mario. They said they didn't remember meeting him which sort of shocked me because he left such a strong impression on me. He looks exactly like Prince. He could honestly pass as a body double. Anyway I ran into him again at this party and had such a fun night hanging out with him and all the drags, dancing and just being crazy, it totally reminded me of my New York club kid days, very dazed and druggy, ahhh Limelight anyone? Twilo? Just point me in the direction of the RMSD.

Last week I met this french guy on the internet. His name is Eric and he was here for the Berlin Contemporary Art Biennial. He's a real estate developer in London. We met up at a bar and ended up having a great conversation about art, politics, culture etc. We met up the next day as well and went to some of the Biennial exhibitions (which I should say were rather uninspiring) and after that just wandered around Mitte. He is very well travelled, so it was fun exchanging travel stories and enjoying that feeling of getting to know someone who you think you could really like. In reality though It's tough because I live in Berlin and He lives in London. Although I've been flirting with the idea of spending a few months in London. We'll see, what happens. He has invited me to meet up with him in Paris in a few weeks but I think it's when I'm going to be in Russia.

Last week my friend Elgyn emailed me. She was our guide when Gus and I went to the Istanbul International Film Festival last year. It had been a while since I had heard from her. We had so much fun causing trouble at all the festival parties and dragging Gus & Udo out clubbing to all my old Istiklal Cadessi haunts. I have to say, seeing the looks on Udo and Gus' faces in that smoky dungeon like club, surrounded by dangerous thugs and trannies (and I do not kid when i say dangerous, these are the type of bitches that will smash their drink on your brow and cut you if they catch you trying to get up on their play) um, so yeah that was kinda priceless. Anyway Elgyn is an aspiring filmmaker herself so she introduced me to a lot of her young turkish filmmaker friends; many of whom were also festival volunteers. One of her friends was a guy named Ali. Elgyn told me in her email that he is working on a film project that will be made up of eleven ten minute short films put together to form a feature. Half the shorts will be from established directors the other half will be young amateur directors. Elgyn sent me a proposal from Ali. He wants me to come back to Istanbul this summer and write and direct one of these short films. It sounds like a really cool project and a great opportunity for me to sort of dabble a bit in the art of filmmaking. I'm pretty sure everything is still in the early planning stages now. I'm not even sure who they have in mind to produce it or what kind of budget there will be yet. But I'm excited that they have asked me to be involved.

I can't believe how fast I'm going right now. My gaze is a blur until I focus on the distance. I just left Hamburg ten minutes ago on a high speed train bound for Berlin. I came to meet up with my friend Rob. Rob manages a german rock band and asked if I wanted to come to Hamburg and hang out with him after the show. We had a lot of fun getting drunk in the hotel bar, smoking weed, and watching trashy american reality shows on mtv europe until five am. um, rock of love, need I say more? I also had a chance to take a little wander around Hamburg this morning before my train left as well and its such a cool city and so close to Berlin. It's less than two hours away by train, so I'm definitely planning on coming back sometime soon. I really want to start doing more little side trips from berlin. I was here in Hamburg once before in 2006 but the weather was much colder then. It's amazing what a difference nice weather can make. Now that it's warm again places like Munich, Warsaw and Copenhagen are on my shortlist for good Berlin summer side trip destinations. But first I need to make it back from Russia in one piece. I'm both nervous and excited!